No One Likes You When You're 23, But No One Tells You What To Do At 30

Were There Ever Any Grown Ups?

Growing up I always looked at my parents and grandparents and thought they had all the answers. Every question I had, there was advice to be given. Every wrong turn I took, had a set consequence. Every decision made, was made with confidence. The world was not a scary place. The “grown ups” had it all figured out.

At 30 years old, a lot of the grown ups I once sought out for advice are now gone. I have had a “grown up” job now for a long time. People should look to me for advice. Do I even have advice to give? The older generation is gone, but no one replaced them.

I still make wrong turns, but no one is there to give me consequences. Limited TV or screen time is a thing of the past. I can eat as much junk food as I want. Hell, I can even drive myself to go get it. I can stay up as late as I want and I don’t have to be quiet. Do two wrong turns make a right? Do three?

Was life easier when grown ups made decisions for you? Every night you were called to dinner and ate whatever was on the table. Now everynight is an argument because you and your wife can’t decide where to order dinner from. Both of you on your phones looking at delivery apps separately. Eventually you stumble on something that neither of you wants, but neither of you hates and that's your day. Was that the only decision you made that day? Do you make any decisions worthwhile at all? Are you skating through life avoiding decisions all together?

Today’s society is filled with hate. The left hates the right and the right hates the left. Feminist activists, Black lives matter, LGBTQ extremists are all groups started under the guise of something well intentioned. What they have become are groups driven by hate. The other side is no better. Willing to defend their side no matter what. Neither side listens. Neither side cares what you have to say. They want to be right, but more than that they want to be a part of something. Not only do they want to be a part of something, but everyone wants to be the oppressed. Feminists claim that women don’t have the same rights as men. Black lives matter claims that African Americans are still held down by racism in America. LGBTQ claims that homophobia and hate has cost them their happiness. White men now claim that they are the ones being hunted. That all these groups hate them and that it is now the white man that is passed up for job opportunities and promotions. Each group claims the same thing. Each group is right in certain circumstances and wrong in others. Each group wants to be the victim. Why would you want to be a victim? As a victim you have an excuse.

No one wants to make decisions. No one wants to offend anyone. Where has the confidence gone? Where have the consequences gone? You can now talk to your teachers and people of authority like they are your buddies. Facts no longer matter. It is all about what you believe. You can create your own reality. Why act on your best behavior? No one is going to do anything. When you finally drive someone to act, you will be ready to get it all on camera. You can share it to whatever hate group you belong to on Facebook and they will all side with you. It will feel good, but only for a moment. Those likes and comments will fade. The notifications go away. Same as the junk food you are going to eat tonight and the videos that you scroll through on your phone. Quick fixes. Quick fixes with no lasting results. How can we come together? 

I ask all of you to act. Be a “grown up”. We need them. I need them. I need someone to offend me. Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me I don’t know everything and that life isn’t always fair. Make me listen to the other side. Show me that things aren’t so black and white. Send me to my room and tell me I can’t come out until I change my attitude. Tell me I can achieve anything! Tell me that despite everything against me I can overcome it. Force me to share. Force me to come have dinner with my siblings who just offended me. Tell me that we have more in common than we think. Show me that we will be much quicker to forgive than we ever thought possible. Make me say I’m sorry. Make us play together. Tell me that love always beats hate.

 There may have never been any real “grown ups”, but the world would be better if there were.